Fit Life Essentials for Real Life

How to Break the Start-Struggle-Stop Cycle and Finally Lose Weight

Do you want to lose weight?

I’m with you.  After two ridiculously stressful years (divorce, job changes, everyday life, etc.), my clothes haven’t been fitting as well as they once did.

Actually, I think we want to lose FAT, right? Because bones, skin, muscle and toenails are awesome.

Today I want to talk about something that amounts to a fat loss superpower – how to navigate the roadblocks that can block fat loss success.  I’m excited to share a special tool – two words to change your energy around fat loss and keep the progress coming.

First, though, let’s start with a little mental yoga, to get our minds in a nice bendy place, before we get to the tool.


Most people trying to lose weight want it to happen yesterday.  We’re an impatient bunch. 

We also want certainty – to be sure that the “X Diet” or “Y Fat Loss Plan” will work.  If we’re gonna be miserable for 8 weeks we’d better see results!

The natural desire for certainty is one reason it’s so tempting to look to celebrities or other buff people.  Hmmmm …. it worked for her, and she looks amazing …

Well, ok, I’m a Libertarian, and I support your right to try any plan that’s safe for you.  So long as you’re comfy it’s ok for you (and you get professional advice if you need it) go right ahead.

There is, however, an alternative to constantly searching for that perfect eight week plan.

What if, instead of searching for quick, certain results, we gave ourselves tons of time to figure it out?  We’re talking two, three, maybe even five years to figure out how to eat enjoyably and march towards the body composition we want. 

Thinking in a span of two, five, or ten years may be surprising.  It seems like a really long time.

It is.  But how long have you either been thinking about fat loss, or maybe even been in fat loss mode?  

I’m guessing, if you’re reading this, your fat loss mode hasn’t been working so well.

Isn’t it so ironic that we can spend YEARS chasing (or wishing for) a six or eight week solution? We’re on the lookout for that perfect plan, or maybe we think we already know it and need to “just do it.”  We get started and then falter.  We start again, feel discouraged, and stop.  

Start, struggle, stop.  Start, struggle, stop.  Start …the cycle begins all over again.  

In contrast, if we give ourselves a little time, we can better explore different possibilities.  And exploration generates a very different energy than the Start, Struggle, Stop cycle.


Once we get our minds all bendy and open to uncertainty, the next step is to use curiosity to our advantage.  How do we do that? Two magic words invite curiosity to the table:

That’s interesting. 

Yep, those are the two words – “that’s interesting.”

Imagine a beautiful woman stepping on a scale that is not budging.  It’s so easy to picture a response that comes from a negative place. 

What the …?  Why isn’t my body responding?  What do I have to do – starve myself??  

In contrast, if curiosity is in the driver’s seat, the scenario looks and feels very different. 

Hmmm, that’s interesting.  I’ve been good for more than a month, but my weight is not budging, my jeans are still too tight, and I look the same.  I’m going to switch things up in another week if I’m still stuck.

Curiosity is beautiful because it inherently keeps frustration in check.  

Think about it: it’s impossible to be frustrated and curious at the same time. Curiosity is a ginormous bouncer who stops frustration at the door to the happy bar.

Sorry, sir.  Only good energy allowed here.

The catch, of course, is that a long term plan does require ongoing effort to pay off. It requires us to have a plan, keep an eye on it, and either celebrate or adjust as needed.

But, if you’ve been on the Start, Struggle, Stop train for a while, what do you have to lose?  Here’s what you do to give it a try:

  1. Pick yo’ plan (big or small, all in or just cutting back – but just start)
  2. Get curious about it
  3. Celebrate victories large and small, and adjust as needed

Let me know how it goes!  You can reach me here by leaving a comment below, on Facebook and Instagram, and via email at

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